I asked the Lord, that I might grow
In faith, and love, and every grace;
Might more of His salvation know,
And seek more earnestly His face.

I hoped that in some favored hour
At once He'd answer my request,
And by His love's constraining power
Subdue my sins, and give me rest.

Instead of this, He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart;
And let the angry powers of hell
Assault my soul in every part.

Yea more, with His own hand He seemed
Intent to aggravate my woe;
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,
Blasted my gourds, and laid me low.

"Lord, what is this?" I trembling cried,
"Wilt thou pursue Thy worm to death?"
"'Tis in this way," the Lord replied,
"I answer prayer for grace and faith.

"These inward trials I employ
From self and pride to set thee free;
And break thy schemes of earthly joy,
That thou may'st seek thy all in me."

John Newton

Here's some notes that I took at a recent church conference that I attended. Enjoy!

Mark Driscoll

What is the church

• church members today focus on living a victorious life instead of being a church on mission
• the church should be the work of the Holy Spirit in the heart of followers of Jesus
  
• preaching should be the first thing a church should do
  - we must get over the fear of men
  - most churches when they preach Christ, preach him as a means to an end
• a Biblical church must have...
  - regenerated church membership
  
  • regeneration is the key mark of a new believer
  - qualified leadership
  
  • all God's people are equally saved by God but there are leaders who guide them
  • qualified leaders are humble leaders
  - gatherings for preaching and worship
  
  • we must stop doing and receive what Christ has already done!
  - sacraments rightly administered
  
  • show people that church is a priority
  • too many churches do too little
  - unified by the Spirit
  - church discipline
  - obey the great commandment to love
  
  • obey by giving
  • demonstrating our love for one another
  - evangelize to make disciples
  
  • the church exists to bridge the nations
  • God's people are a going people

Ministry Idolatry

• the opposite of Biblical worship is idolatry
• you become like what you worship so if you worship Jesus, you will become more like him
• most of the time we worship things that are essentially good and in worshiping them, we make them our god and that makes them bad
• idols give people identity and you build your life on your identity
• the Bible is about the theology of the cross - what Christ did for us. many Christians create a theology of glory - what I do for Jesus; acts of becoming more righteous
  
• those who idolize also demonize - they demonize the opposite of what they idolize
• Common idolatries
  - money
  
  • attitude of "God will bless me if I'm rich/poor"
  - family
  
  • seek loving, secure relationships that will never end; seek love, affection, acceptance, and identity - THESE THINGS SHOULD ONLY COME FROM GOD
  • single people seek a spouse that will save them from their singleness ~ their spouse is their savior!
  - sexuality
  
  • getting to disobey continually is the ultimate wrath of God ~ Romans 1:24
  - substance
  
  • drugs/alcohol/food <--- Christians will stay away from alcohol but will be gluttons! - morality >worship performance
  • think that God loves them because they obey Him
  - people
  
  • focus on fear of man, disapproval ~ this makes people timid and cowardly instead of bold
  - attendance
  
  • for pastors or church leaders -- are you happier when church attendance is high and sadder when it is low?
  - gift
  
  • attitude of "God uses me because of my skills!"
  - fruit
  
  • attitude of "God must love me because of all that He put me in charge of"
  - tradition
  
  • family, background
  - method
  
  • church's methods and ministries are worshiped over God
  - office
  
  • for pastors -- is it more important for you to be known as a pastor or as a Christian?
  - success
  - ministry
  
  • walk with God only because of your job
  - innovation
  
  • focus on the uniqueness of your church or ministry instead of God
  - leader
  
  • people leaders are your idols
  • want to be more like your leader than God
• Answer to be free of these idols is repentance
• repentance is not what we preach, it's what we practice

There will be more to come..

after being in a country for almost 3 years, what gives a person peace about finally leaving? what makes that time worthwhile? for me, it's seeing the people that have changed since i first met them. it's watching them share about how their life has changed to others. it's hearing them talk about God in a way that holds no fear of what others may think.
in these last few months, i have seen Japanese christians stand for God like they never have before. whether they have been christians for 6 years or 6 months, it doesn't matter. God has given them a powerful faith in Him that cannot and will not be shaken. i feel ready to leave because my job here is done. i can look at 2 timothy 4:7 and feel content that God used me and that lives were changed because of that.
thanks to everyone for your support, encouragement, and prayers! it's been an amazing, life-changing 2 years and 9 months. Praise be to God!

there's some new pictures up at:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=38271&l=488ed&id=503303800

check them out!

seeking knowledge

have you ever stopped and thought about the knowledge you have of your faith? if you were faced with someone who believed something completely different than you did would you be able to stand your ground?

lately i've found that i don't know much about the background of christianity. it's sad to admit that i haven't considered it important enough before now to actually that the time to research it. being here in japan, i pretty much am the expert on christianity because most people have never heard anything about it before. so whatever i tell people has to be truthful or else i'm telling them something not valid. however, it never occured to me before that i should test everything that i have heard from others. i always trusted what others said because i knew them to be an honest person but as the bible says:

but test everything that is said. Hold on to what is good. ~1 Thessalonians 5:21

And the people of Berea were more open-minded than those in Thessalonica, and they listened eagerly to Paul’s message. They searched the Scriptures day after day to see if Paul and Silas were teaching the truth. ~Acts 17:11

if the people tested what paul, author of 13 books of the new testament, said then how much more so should i test what people tell me? i don't about you but i don't want to be telling people information that *might* not be true. i want to know my stuff; not just for others but for myself as well. it gives me a deeper appreciation of my faith when i know more of the background and the sacrifices others went through to make sure that it was carried through to the next generation.